I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize
