So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
