Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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