um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
