white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
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