Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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