): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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