it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sext me about skeletons
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
