I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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