He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
