she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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