Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
