this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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