omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize