I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
