fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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