She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
