i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
