spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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