Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
