Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
