he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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