theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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