I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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