Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
