i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize