3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
