it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
