Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
