just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
