I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
