Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
