Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
