I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I could fuck to npr.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
