google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
