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dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize