did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize