Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Fuck appropriateness.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
