i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
