Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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