If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I will pee on everything he values.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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