So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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