we're blogging at a bar
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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