Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
