My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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