highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
