I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
