When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
