She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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