Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
