His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
There's even glitter on my cock...
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