she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
