I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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