Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
