Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
