with your own penis?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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