I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
