Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
