is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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