dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Barsexuality is the new black.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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