I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
