can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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